Worst. Rookie. Mistake. Ever.

“OMG Rookie! Just wait till I tell Roosh!!” – VK

*********************************

The basement is where the action is. The DJ is spinning, the ladies are grinding. VK and I are leaning on the bar. Two girls step up next to me at the bar to order drinks. VK notices what I typically don’t:

“Yo, you see those girls? They were checking you hard and licking their lips. You better say something.”

If you guessed “The Rookie pussied out,” you’d be right. We didn’t really start off strong at the first spot, and if I don’t start off strong, I’m usually a clam later on. This night was no different. Uhhhh, what do I say? That was all I could think. The 2 girls go back to join their 3rd girl.

“Man we gotta say something. Imma lead, and Rookie you follow.”

“Sounds good.” Sure. Walking over to the group, I still couldn’t think of an opener. What the hell is wrong, think dammit! VK roles up on the Patty, and I go for middle-eastern-looking shorty, bypassing her taller friend. Shit. Time to say something.

“Hi, I’m The Rookie.”

“Heeey! I’m (some foreign name)!”

Yeah, no way I’m gonna remember that. What exactly did she say anyway? I grab her by the waist and put her ass on my dick.

“Why did you take so long to leave the bar?”

I don’t remember how I responded, but I’m sure it was adequate. All that really matters is that we were flirting back and forth, and it was getting hot and heavy. I go in a few times for a kiss, and she’s slowly letting me get closer, while making my hand rub between her thighs. But I do notice something when VK brings another round of beer over: she’s not drinking. At all.

“Why aren’t you drinking?”

“Oh, I don’t need to.”

Hmmm. Well this wasn’t going to stop me. But the restroom would. “Hey, watch my drink, I’m going to the restroom.”

When I returned, she was gone. Patty informed me that she went to the restroom as well. I was a little disappointed. On this part of town, you never know who might slip a roofie in my drink. I must protect my virgin asshole.

While VK was grinding on Patty’s ass, I did my best to entertain, cracking jokes, making interesting observations. Patty seemed to enjoy it, but the 3rd chick seemed bored, mostly out of her own insecurity. Tick tock. It’s been about 20 minutes, and my girl still hasn’t returned, so all her friends go to check up on her. “If you see anything else, let’s grab it.” It was so late though, nothing seemed available.

“Man, this sucks.”

“Chill Rookie, you give up to easily. They’ll be back.”

After a little bit longer, they finally return. I let my girl know I didn’t appreciate my beer being left alone. It needs a constant eye on it. She didn’t seem to appreciate the humor. Hmmm. Whatever. We keep dancing, grinding, touching. The night is just about over, and now we are sucking face. I figure she might run off again, so I might as well get her number.

“No.”

“Uhhh, ok?” Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I asked a girl for her number and she flat out said “no.” Oh wait, yes I do, in this same club, after dancing and flirting with a girl in a zebra print dress, who seemed to be loving me. I had the feeling I was getting burned, and let VK know.

“Yo, this girl is whack, I’m out.”

“Really? She seemed in to you.”

“Yeah, but I asked her for her number and she was like ‘no.’”

“Dayuummm.”

So I bounce, walking to my car, another WTF kinda night, where it all looks good, but then it doesn’t. Of course I’m hoping my phone rings soon, and it does, with VK on the line:

“Yo, come back, I talked to Patty, she said her girl is foreign, and doesn’t really know how to talk to guys. Just come back and see how it goes.”

I head back, and everyone is outside, with 2 dudes trying to holla at my girl. She leaves them, and we all start walking up the street, but I’m not really paying her any mind. So she saddles up to me, arm in arm.

“I’m sorry, I’m just in between something right now.”

“Oh is that what it is.”

“Yeah.”

“OK.”

…

“OMG say something!!”

“I mean, if that’s how you want it…” I see my street, and let her know I’m out, and start walking towards my whip. After about a minute, I hear an angry VK walking behind me.

“WTF man?? OMG Rookie, just wait till I tell Roosh!! This is like the biggest rookie mistake ever!! We were going back to their crib!! My girl was good, your girl was good, what the hell?? And she was like ‘he got upset just because I wouldn’t give him my number.’ What the hell man!!”

“Well… yeah…”

“Dude, we were going back to their place! It was all good! OMG Rookie, just wait till I tell Roosh!! You cost me a notch tonight!!!”

“Ooooohh…” Now it started to dawn on me: she wanted my dick and that’s it. Most people in the game would have figured that out, but not me. Why? Cause I’m The Rookie. I started chuckling, then laughing. I realized I fucked up, and my face couldn’t hide the embarrassment, a lot like Mickael Pietrus.

"Yeah but I got money, clothes, cars and hos. What YOU got, Rookie?"

Amazing. I actually fucked up a layup. Worst. Rookie. Mistake. Ever.