Fall Back Fuglo

Everyone knows that for guys, the worse you look, the more you have to approach before you get anywhere. Girls face a similar problem: the worse you look, the less you will get approached, and the more you will have to approach guys to get anywhere. But that’s fine, hot girls approach guys too: rock stars, ballers, decent looking guys, and those who appear to have their shit together, it’s reality.

The key is doing it right. I never really thought about it until recently. Me, VK, and some others (5 of us total) were at the corner of a bar. One lonely bar stool sat deep in the corner. VK had gotten up to talk to one of the guys like 3 stools away. In walks this girl in a red dress, aiming for that lonely stool. I thought it was odd that she was by herself, but didn’t think much beyond that.

After some time, all of us stood up, discussing what the plans were for the night. Suddenly, the lonely girl stood up and barged in to the group:

“Hey guys I’m joining your group!”

We all got a good look at her then, and just like girls do, we somehow signaled to each other that this was not about to happen.

She might have been fuglier. I blocked out the memory.

It was incredibly awkward. All of us started talking to each other, ignoring Fuglo. I could see out the corner of my eye, she was still smiling, willing to talk to someone, but the hope was quickly fading from her face. The group split up as some of us left for the next venue.

Outside we couldn’t stop talking about how awkward it was. And honestly, I don’t think it was because she was so fucking ugly, I think it was her being by herself. Or maybe the way she barged in. Or maybe how she had nothing else to say. I just can’t explain the awkwardness.

I know that for some girls, especially unattractive ones, life can be tough. I get that. But this type of desperation Hail Mary will never, ever work. If you look that bad, you’d be better in a dark club when guys have been pounding drinks.

In the end, if you take away one thing from this experience, just don’t be out by yourself. Then you probably wouldn’t come to our corner for 1 stool when you have a friend. You’d just stay away.