The Struggle
VK: “Yo, why is my girl asking me if I wanna meet up with you and Tall Blondie later?”
“Uhh I dunno. I told her it was just me and her. Should I say anything?”
“Nah, don’t say anything at all, no negative energy.”
And so it began, the struggle for power. It was interesting because she didn’t jock for it before. But we all know how girls are. Even fatties seek that power.
Actually, the struggle began a little earlier. Throughout the week we texted back and forth, usually several hours between texts, with me saying what night, time, and bar. She readily agreed. But the day of, I told her to make sure she wears heels (she’s already a little taller than me) and she responded that she would if I wore a tight miniskirt. WTF? One of the weirdest responses ever. I figured there would be differences in how we went about each other, given that she’s 5 years older than me, but after this text I knew I would be in for a ride. I didn’t respond.
VK hit me up with the above about 2 hours before the designated time. I proceeded as if nothing happened. But I misjudged how long the metro ride would be, and got to the stop about 10 minutes early, with the bar only 3 blocks away. At that moment she sends me a text saying she’s running late and would see me in 15 minutes or so. Fuck. I started taking slow strolls in different directions to waste time. It was brisk that evening, and my jacket was more for show that utility. This is stupid, but these are the games we play. This is what I signed up for. And I like it. Finally I settled for another bar 2 blocks away.
VK hit me up to see how I was doing. I told him what was up, and we had a good laugh about all this power trippin. The Lakers-Jazz game was on, so I just enjoyed that and a couple of beers. About a half hour after the time we were supposed to meet, she texts me:
“Hey I just got here and ordered a drink. Are you still on the way or are you hiding out somewhere?”
Damn, this girl is good. Thoughts swirled in my head of capitulating. Always raised to be an honest person, I felt morally trapped, and it was time to give the gig up. But I held my ground. I let her know I was still on the metro and I’d see her soon. She responded “see you soon.” I finished my beer and showed up 20 minutes later.
We said hello, and I made up some story about getting off at the wrong metro stop because the trip planner told me to. While telling it, I knew it was entirely unnecessary, and that I’d be ceding an advantage for no reason. But then she handed me a CD that I suggested she burn for me. And I looked down and noticed she was wearing heels. I figured I was doing fine.
It was textbook after that. I kept telling her stories that demonstrated my value in the eyes of women, the things I prefer (heels on a taller chick), etc. We made observations about the DC dating scene (how everyone has a Match.com account) and about others in the bar. Then we went to a club I suggested to get grimey on the dance floor, and told her she could get the next round of drinks.
The club wasn’t nearly packed yet, so we kept talking. When it started to fill up, my eyes and mind started to wander. Wow, these chicks are gorgeous. I want them. None of them were as tall, but they had those sexy tight short dresses on, and I wanted them all. Calm down, Rookie. One girl at a time. Wrap this one up first.
Un dia de estos.
The DJ started spinning that good shit when it got packed. I staked out a spot near the stripper poles, and put my girl to grinding on me. It was good times. She really started feeling on me, putting her head on my shoulder, as my hands started squeezing her ass. At one point some dude came over to holla at her. I let him say a couple of lines, then turned her to face me.
It really started to get hot and heavy. While she shut me down before, she put up no resistance when I went to kiss her. Things were progressing nicely. She even bought most of the rounds. Guys were coming over giving high-fives and dap. One guy said to her: “THIS GUY IS THE FUCKING MAN!”
After a bit, I could see on her face that she was ready to go. But it wasn’t that “I’m ready to fuck you, boy” kinda look. It was more like “I’m ready to go.” I said let’s get out of there, and quickly closed our tabs and headed out. I bet I should have moved this sooner, but I was having too good a time. Now, I thought there might be trouble. But I wasn’t prepared for the curveball I got when we were outside, after I suggested we get a cab.
“Wait. I think we did this backwards. You weren’t supposed to stay with me last time. I think I’m sending you home.”
“You’re sending me home?”
“Yeah…”
“Hold on, lemme get some cash from that ATM.” I needed some cash, but I wanted some time to think. What the fuck man. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK. Sending me home? What kinda bullshit… Think man, think. But there wasn’t enough time. The door to the lobby where the ATM was was locked. I walked back to her.
“So are you really sending me home?”
“Yeah. I’m sending you home.”
“OK. Bye.” And I walked off, and straight into the closest bar. I could hear her say “bye” in a flustered voice. She called me a minute later, but I didn’t pick up. Then I got this text:
“Hey, get home safely, i had fun tonight-that goodbye was not what i anticipated but either way i wanted you to know i had a good time. Sleep tight.”
—————————————-
I woke up as clear-headed as a hangover would allow. I was disappointed, but I started thinking I should have played it differently. I should have just said we’d talk about it in the cab, blah blah blah. It wasn’t as crushing as that one, and I might have been OK with how I handled it, but perhaps a better play would have worked. Might as well call VK and get his opinion:
“OK, how did you fuck this one up?” I filled him in on what went down. “She was texting my girl saying she didn’t know what happened and that you just left.”
“Nah man, she said she was sending me home. I didn’t know how to react that.”
VK said a lot at this point. None of it was like that other failure. However, I can’t really remember it. I was in my own world. But I remember him saying to hit her up, saying we obviously have to do this again and make sure the night ends how I want it. No response.
My motivation was what I learned from Roosh, to let her lead her to believe that the main thing I wanted from her was sex. That I was willing to walk if I wasn’t about to get it. I think I did that, and feel like I won the battle, but ultimately lost the war. Chalk this one up as another spectacular fail.
…she responded that she would if I wore a tight miniskirt. WTF? One of the weirdest responses ever. I figured there would be differences in how we went about each other, given that she’s 5 years older than me, but after this text I knew I would be in for a ride. I didn’t respond.
She knocked out of your frame with that one, though your nonresponse was fine. This shows that you care too much, because that was an easy shit test. I would have responded with something like “Nah, I’m wearing my Borat bikini, you better not outdo me!”
you’re right about me caring too much. it’s hard not to sometimes.
Yeah, I hate that regression shit.
You got to spend the night last time and this time she’s sending you home. That’s that shit that’ll drive a muthafucka crazy trying to figure it out.
I think it’s somewhat of a shit test though, to see if you’ll stick around even if you’re not fucking. I don’t necessary know the best way to handle it though, it’s the same shit test I seem to keep running into. I wish you remembered more of what VK said about it, I’d like to hear his take.
Basically 31 year old women aren’t going to beg for you to come home with them. This was the final shit test to see if you’d be man enough to step up and get what you want. Girls like her have this funny way of fronting at first just so they can brag back to their friends, “oh, I wasn’t really trying to hook up, it just happened”. The fact that she called and then sent that text right after meant that she was fronting and it even backfired on her. It’s funny how girls can cock block themselves.
There’s gotta be a comeback “bitch you just cockblocked yourself” line when that happens.
ALWAYS deprive them of closure. the no response is always best. nah, you drew a line in the sand. she may not like it but she must respect it. besides, the study on man/woman height ratio had you at a disadvantage from the start. women innately want a man that is taller than them.
a chosen few odd girls want you to ask them, tell them what you want…and will capitulate. problem is? ALL the other ones just want the opportunity to shoot you down as retribution for some other dude that pumped and dumped….and yeah, chicks self cock block in some vicious masochistic way quite a bit.
Tallagash,
I strongly disagree with being at a disadvantage with height. You carry yourself like a real man it doesn’t matter. Girls want guys who are taller, richer, smarter blah blah blah… the moment you start making moves based on what most girls want is the moment you shouldn’t even be in the game
No offence but the above sounds like something a short man would say.
all things being equal, a 6’4 man is going to get more pussy than a 5’8 man. Hands down.
Being taller definitely makes the initial attraction easier, my taller friends have it the easiest when it comes to swooping girls at bars and going for the same night lay. Outside of that though, the advantage seems to shrink, if not disappear.
again, spoken like a man who isn’t 6’2 or taller.
it doesn’t disappear, nor does it shrink
I’m torn about whether my chances of actually banging that night were that high. Sure I was already in, but then I read that text, and it says “that GOODBYE” was not how she intended, not that the night didn’t end how she thought… maybe I’m reading too much into it…
Oh and the height thing, that may matter on first impression, but she was into me, so it didn’t matter at that point. Plus I made sure she stood taller than me. That’s how I wanted it. If anything I showed more confidence. I think.
Yeah, you’re right about the height not mattering after the first impression. If she’s hanging out with you, it’s a non factor now.
With me, the fact that I like short, small girls is a lot more important than the fact that girls like guys taller than them.
I’ve never been with a girl taller than me though, so maybe I should try it out someday.
Shorties get way too much attention. I’m aiming for taller chicks cause that’s where the supermodels are. Try it out. Just being seen in public will boost your confidence.
I’m pretty sure actual supermodel type chicks get plenty of attention as well….
I can’t even think of the last time I’ve seen an attractive chick that’s taller than me. Maybe I just don’t notice them, but if they were attractive, I think I’d notice them though. Maybe chicks over 6’0″ tall are just rare….
Jesus, all the freaking games she played. And the counter moves, and the counter-counter moves, etc.
Why even bother?
This has never happened to me in Brazil.
I think you had this one, but you may have held out too long. And this is only a suggestion from what I’ve read about the night…
You’re on the dance floor, your grinding on each other, kissing and whatnot….things will only be that “hot and heavy” for so long before that sexual tension starts to loose steam. So what I might have done is, instead of staying and waiting for the night to run it’s course, just flat out ask her “Hey, do you want to get out of here?” This isn’t asking her outright for sex, you just want to have a little more of a relaxing 1 on 1 evening…which you know will lead to sex. Older women don’t have issues taking younger guys home. They want to do it. They just don’t want to do it by themselves. (meaning you have to make some moves instead of just going with the flow)
I’d say you have one more shot at this. One more date to bang this chick out. Instead of meeting her out at a bar, just have a movie night and a few drinks at her house. Point being, get to her house! Then once you start making out on her couch, just stand up, grab her hand, and walk into her bedroom. Don’t ask, don’t say a word. This is the only move you need to know. If this doesn’t work, then find a new chick….but it will work.
No expert here, but my two cents: Reframe in a way that gets you back to her house, albeit without demanding sex–a reframe she can accept without blatantly capitulating. Said with a smile: “Nah, we’re not going backwards from last time. We might not have sex tonight, but I’m not going home yet.”