Illusive Inner Game
WHY YOUR FRIENDS DITCHED YOU: After a few beers you started rambling on about how “all game is inner game.” from The Daily Sarge.
Inner game? Seriously. What is this shit? Happy thoughts? Confidence in yourself? Telling yourself that you can do this? I can’t say that my own belief in myself has inspired much. I feel as if people are selling this inner game stuff like it’s a bar of soap.
And you thought I was kidding.
The only thing that gets me going is the attractiveness of the girl. Looking back at my lifetime of approaches, and I mean way before I read The Game, I went after girls I thought were very hot. Sure, my game was terrible, but never did that issue cross my mind. All that mattered was I wanted the girl.
Only when a strong desire for a particular girl appeared did I put in extra effort. It was those times that I got out of my comfort zone of not really being all that sociable, to getting a number and going on a date.
My 2 main issues: first, I will feel great about myself, but when I see a girl I want to approach, suddenly the anxiety hits and I get scared. Second, when I notice that I’m doing well, I’m never thinking beforehand that I’m the shit. I’m not sure what I’m normally thinking at that moment, but I know it’s now that.
I’m a high quality guy. This does practically nothing for me. The times I feel a boost from inner game are when I’m getting ready to go out. I look in the mirror, and tell myself that I’m the shit. And I feel great. Then I step outside into the real world.
I really want that girl. This is what I’m thinking, especially when the girl is the best in the venue. This is most important because it’s here when the approach anxiety kicks in. It never goes away. Doubts about what my opener will be, whether my voice will strain or crack, and fears of her reaction jump out of hiding, all utterly destroy any confidence that I had going for me, just a few seconds ago.
One of the things that kept my approach numbers down was I don’t have to talk to that particular girl, because there’s so many more. I used the “abundance mentality” as an excuse to do nothing. Having that thought has been a mistake. Now I’m starting to think that, if I see a particular attractive girl, I have to approach her because I may never see her or anyone like her again. And I can’t let her get away without trying. Telling myself that she’s a scarce resource gets me moving. If I don’t approach, and someone else does instead, I feel like I’ve lost something.
I understand that everyone’s motivated differently. Sure, I’ll approach sometimes just to impress my friends. But that won’t bring out my best game either, because I’m talking to the girl for the wrong reasons. For me to bring my best game, I have to be thinking about… well you get the picture.
my best game occurs when im :
1. tipsy or the very beginning stages of drunk
2. i feel confident in my physical appearance (fresh cut , fly outfite , etc)
for me its almost never spurred on by the attractiveness of the woman im talking to , for me its mostly about if im in the mood to really go into beast mode
I wonder if that soap would help.
I think this goes back to what Vincent Iganatius was saying the other day. It’s easy to have inner game and the right frame when dealing with 5′s or 6′s because you don’t give a fuck. It’s much harder when dealing with 8′s or 9′s.
Last night I went to go see Inception.
Two 10s in the popcorn line.
I turned to my friends who had noticed them too. “Who wants popcorn? I’m getting some.”
I made it a personal priority to approach, despite my wearing gym shorts and a t-shirt. I made a u-turn and went straight up to them, got behind them and asked what they were watching. “Despicable Me.” I made fun of them for watching a kids movie. Laughs etc but that was it.
Yeah, no numbers no nothing. But I agree with you. I can’t live with myself if I DON’T approach. I feel as if that I am cheating myself if I let a hot girl get away without me saying something. Victory to my balls, defeat for polite society.
Everything you’ve learned up to this point contributes to inner game. You should be far more comfortable gaming an 8 now than you were a year ago. That comes from inner game.
The general techniques you probably already knew a year ago, but the confidence to pull it off comes from inner game.
First time I’ve seen that site. Hilarious.
That soap could work in some sort of a placebo way…but I wouldn’t buy it.
‘Inner game’ is just confidence and faith in yourself, with a dash of game and knowledge of how the female mind works. Too much emphasis is put on it though.
You could have all the inner game in the world, doesn’t mean shit if you don’t approach, or dress like a slob, or spend night after night doing the same damn thing over and over.
Like tazzy bee said, my best game comes;
1) With a slight gentle buzz. Not falling over and obnoxious (though I have closed falling over and obnoxious…with ugly girls), but just happy and floaty. Minimum 3 beers, maximum 7.
2) When I know I look good.
3) But also…when something good happens to me and I feel good…like the day I get my tax return or if I run into a dear old friend.
Interesting points you raise here about inner game.
I have a blog all about inner game, please check it out and let me know what you think http://www.hypnomatt.com
Matt