BCN: The Response
A few days before I departed for Barcelona, I sent Morena a message on Facebook, telling her that I’d be there soon, the time and place, where I was staying, and to call me at the provided number. I was looking forward to her being my tour guide. Her response:
“Oh! Wow. Great! I’ll call you then.”
Hmmm, something doesn’t seem right here. It wasn’t in her normal enthusiastic tone. And it seemed odd, like she was surprised that I was coming. As if she didn’t know. Maybe I’m reading too much into this. Over-thinking. Let’s see what happens.
I was a little anxious after landing. God, I hope she calls soon. I hopped in a cab and headed to my hostel. The plan was to hang around, close by, in case she called. Checking my phone for missed calls became a favorite habit.
Maybe I should let her know that I’m here? The hostel provided computers and Internet access for “cheap.” I logged on Facebook and sent her a message letting her know I had arrived. Maybe she tried calling and couldn’t get through for some reason. At least now she knows she can contact me on Facebook.
A day passed without a response.
The next day I checked my Facebook. She sent this message: “Hey Rookie! Would you like to go out with a friend tomorrow? Is everything OK?”
A friend? Lame. And no, I’m not OK, sitting around waiting, scratching my balls. Well, let’s just role with it. For all I know it could be a girl. I told her that I was down, and to call me.
Another day passed. Silence.
Am I really getting flaked on? That bitch…
I figured I’d let her know how I was feeling. A couple of days later I sent another message: “This is the best tour I’ve ever had. I really appreciate it.”
One day passed. And then another. I started to wonder if she didn’t like my last message. Or even understand it. I would find out soon enough that afternoon:
“Hey Rookie! I’m so sorry… I haven’t have time to call you. How many days do you stay here? I’m glad to hear it!”
Greeeaaat. She didn’t even get my sarcasm.
But it didn’t matter anymore. I had had enough. Just in case she was serious, I let her know that I would be there another week (yes, a week had already passed). But I didn’t expect anything to happen.
I didn’t hear from her again.
A reliable woman is like a unicorn.
Damn, flaked on in another country.. sucks bro.
some chicks like the anticipation of possibility more than the reality of anything coming to fruition.
Fuck man, this is just a list of REALLY stupid moves and fucked up frame I didnt expect from you.
You havent seen this girl for ages yet you act up like she owes you something, then get worked out when you dont get it. Clingy and needy and imperative and sour. WTF? everything you did is the opposite of what would have worked.
1) You facebook her your details and “tell her” to call you. WRONG. It comes out demanding and stupid. BETTER move: go casual like “Hey I will be in Barcelona next tuesday night! be ready to show me around!
” so you leave a gap for her to fill, ask questions and develop her interest, she might offer you her own bed to share.
2) You where anxious and thinking “God, I hope she calls soon. ” WRONG. She is not the only girl in town. BETTER move: get excited that you are in a place full of exotic pussy.
3) You long in facebook and let her now that you just arrived. WRONG. This screams needy clingy and demanding. Trust me she already knew how to use facebook. BETTER move: go get some fun.
4) A few days passed and you are not OK with sitting around and scratching your balls. WRONG. Dude you are in Barcelona and all you do is not being OK? the reason she gave you some days is to see what the fuck is going up in your head. She is smelling a loser and wants to be sure. BETTER move: go get some damn fun and meet new people!
5) She invites you to go out with her failsafe – friend, you got worked up and tell her to call you. WRONG. You are actiong like a resentful beta cuckholded boyfriend. BETTER move: say “sure!, Im going on a party on the XX with a few new friends I met, wanna join?”
6) You accumulate all of this sourness and send her a resentful message. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck man.
Its like you wanted her to spawn wrapped around your dick, but you didnt give her any reason to do so, other than you getting worked out for not getting it.
Some tough love right there.
Girls hate leading so next time try to get the ball rolling with something like “There’s this neat cafe near my hostel. How about we meet there tomorrow around 3 and check out some sights.”
No need to over-analyze things. She could have been serious about being a tour-guide and things didn’t work out, or she was just BS-ing when she offered previously like Tallgash said.
Either way I hope you had backup plans to fall back on. In fact I almost always have backup plans when meeting girls just in case, so the flaking doesn’t bother as much. Better to be nimble…
I think with some girls, talking about and making future plans is enough. Its just a power/validation game. Bait and switch. When the guy attempts to get the plans rolling, her go-to response is to pull back, get flakey, decline an invite. This gives her the upper hand.
A few backhanded compliments over facebook before you announced that you were flying over might have worked wonders.
Everybody knows this feeling. Checking your phone and every slight crease in your jeans feels like your phone vibrating. I now know to never plan anything around “in case a girl calls” but I’ve done it before. You were in another country, but I the rules still apply for your own sanity. Fire and forget. Send that text/email and move on. And I can’t believe you didn’t close on that Russian chick! Always assume she wants to fuck…you have to! Oh well.
Worst trip ever.
tazzy bee likes this.
Based on what I’ve read, I’m not at all surprised that this girl flaked on you, but I think it has less to do with you and more the situation. You met this girl in Costa Rica 3 years ago? You had a decent “connection”, but it sounds like there wasn’t even a kiss or any kind of hook up involved? I’m surprised that she actually looked you up on facebook 3 year later, that’s random, and should definitely be interpreted as a sign. But, as we all know girls are incredibly flakey, and while she offered to be your “tour guide”, sometimes people just say shit like that, and don’t expect you to actually take them up on an offer and follow through.
So with all those factors considered, is it really a surprise that she ended up flaking? It sounds like you put too much stock into this girl, and had your hopes up a bit too high. If you’d had sex with her in Costa Rica, and she pulled that shit on you, it would be a totally different story. Anyways, I’d agree with the other guys, that you did mess up on certain points as far as seeming too “needy”, eager, beta, or whatever. One thing I am starting to realize more and more these days, is the necessity to take a dominant frame, in the sense that you really need to try to not give a fuck, if you contact and girl and she doesn’t respond, then whatever, fuck her, she’s not worth getting all twisted over.
Wait, so you sat around for several days in a foreign country waiting for some chick to call? Not great…
Maybe the girl is not interested. She’s just making some excuses, but either way don’t be sad. You deserve another good girl tour guide perhaps…