How to Blow a Shit Test
Skins v. Eagles. McNabb v. Vick Kolb. McNabb against the infamous Philly fans. Story lines for days. Tensions are running high. The bar is packed with Philly fans, engulfing a small-but-brave faction of Skins fans, who occupy one of the two main tables in front of the big screens. A fight nearly breaks out. Threats of brutal beatdowns and death are exchanged. A coward tosses a beer glass into the fray. The hate is running high.
And all through it, I sit watching the game between the tables. Between the Eagles fans and Skins diehards. My outfit, bluejeans and a white designer thermal, hides my loyalty. The fact that I’m sitting at the edge of an Eagles table doesn’t betray it either. One of the cutest Redskins fans, who was standing next to my table, asks me about it:
“So who are you rooting for?”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Umm, I dunno…” she says, confused, as she looks over my outfit.
“I’m rooting for Philly, but I also like McNabb.”
“Oh! I’m rooting for McNabb too!” As she says this she puts her tight-fitting Skins jersey on display, pressing her hands down the front of it, from top to bottom. I look down and see a bright yellow “5″ in the middle. I guess that’s McNabb’s number.
“Awesome.”
She turns and talks to someone else. I turn and watch the game. Her friend, not cute but serviceable after a long night of drinking and an exit route shielded from the public, opened me earlier indirectly. I was feeling pretty good.
Ten minutes later I realized what happened. She just wanted me to look at her boobs. And that’s exactly what I did (they were nice, by the way). I couldn’t believe it, especially because I knew exactly how to handle it. Then, I passed with flying colors and got my dick wet. Months later, I was none the wiser.
Many dudes tried to spit game to her while watching the game. So did my friend, who ended up bagging the digits. His game was good. It usually is good. Of course, he still has to fuck her.
I like to think I’m recognizing shit tests more than ever. They come more frequently than I imagined. It’s the girl’s job to constantly test you to ensure your true alphaness. All you can do is recognize and be prepared.
Besides my utter failure, there’s another point worth mentioning. I’m a pretty good looking guy. My friend isn’t compared to me. But I’m never the cutest, just one of them. My friend’s game seems better sometimes because it has to be for him to win. Sometimes. And it definitely was this time.
Having a pretty face makes it hard to learn game. It breeds an entitlement mentality. It’s an easy crutch. Sure, it means girls will approach me, but it just means more interviews and less negging on my part. And for a situation like this, probably no negging at all. Something I’m slowly working on.
Holy smokes… that was a shit test?!
Damn, I’ve failed that one many times. Many, many, many times.
yeah man. they happen so often. if they aren’t happening, ask yourself if you just didn’t realize that they were, or if she’s attracted to you
negging when i’ve tried it has failed pretty harshly. girls turn insecure and scurry away like roaches when the lights come on.
only girls who give me the haughtiness tip first can I neg without negging too hard and blowing them out.
and yeah, having a pretty boy face occupies a strange place in game. you get ioi’s virtually eveyr bar you enter, but you’re also walking into more expectations with some girls.
having a pretty face sucks
So you think that being good looking can cause faster disappointment and disinterest in a girl if your game isn’t what she thinks it should be based on your looks? Interesting.
Looks like you found “the sports brat.” These girls collect orbiters like I collected baseball cards in 5th grade. Usually have little to no girl friends (I guess it’s a function of their personality, but this type usually has a lot of enemies from other girls), give almost all guys just enough flirty attention to keep them under spell and usually never hook up within their group. In short, they confuse the fuck out of most guys.
Anyway, the way I deal with these girls is to a) spot them right off the bat and b) don’t play into their trap. Tease, keep eye contact, don’t get caught checking her out (unless you want to make it obvious), and ignore. I guarantee most guys don’t do that so she’ll get curious quickly.
you are right. she flirted with lots of dudes. and I don’t think my friend will seal the deal.
Running into a lot of these orbiter girls lately. I think you have to just neg them and show you don’t give a shit… it’s still not that likely to land one of these chicks, but at least you’re bringing them back down to earth and being different than all the other clinging dudes.
Just read through your older post… yeah Rook you had a perfect response in your playbook! That sucks, man… You kind of dismissed her anyway, which could have worked too. So don’t beat yourself up too much.
That was a shit test?, I suck with shit test, when I’m on top of my game I’m like a Jedi with that shit but alcohol doesn’t help
I think your over analyzing bruh
I’m being serious
generally speaking , girls don’t heavily (if at all) shit test dudes they approach
more often they don’t, but this is DC…