The Snuggie Season Survival Guide
The worst is already over.
From the night after Halloween, through December, going out was mainly a waste of time. It was painful and boring. And that’s not even including the weather. Walking a block from my car to the bar was too much for my Kenneth Cole’s. I couldn’t feel my toes as I stepped inside the door. It just was not worth it. I longed to just sit at home, on my couch, enjoying a glass of whiskey and some semi-quality entertainment on the television, all curled up in my Snuggie.
It’s now a little bit better. I think people are tired of sitting at home, and some girls are starting to venture out. I mentioned yesterday how I really got going during the winter. If you don’t believe that the situation has improved, then there are things you can do to keep yourself busy until the hard frost starts to thaw. Read on, but be warned. This post is (possibly) NSFW!
Do Something Else
No, seriously. This is a great time to work on things you’ve been putting off. I discussed some of my resolutions here. I’m sure there’s plenty of things that you’ve been putting off, that would make you an all around more interesting person. Like learning another language, or working on that manuscript that’s been collecting dust. Tune up your guitar or violin and start strumming. Take a class in ANY of these things. You never know who you might meet in those classes, and if you don’t meet anyone, at least you should have something else that’s interesting to discuss. Even Willy Wonka has gone back to school, and is trying to make some plays. At the very least, you might save some cash, which would come in handy when you’re trying to pay for that Vegas trip you’ve been meaning to take year after year after year.
Forget About Fridays
This has to be the absolute worst night to go out. I have more fun on Mondays than I do on Fridays. Scratch this night of your list until the spring. Saturdays are still good nights. But for Fridays, stay comfy in your Snuggie.
Experiment with New Venues
We all have our favorite spots. But some of them are letting us down during the winter. This is the perfect time to try a new spot. What about that bar that’s a little closer to home that you’ve never tried? Sure it may suck when you finally step in. But it might have good off-nights that attract a different kind of strange. Some girls only go to a couple of spots, and refuse to venture out of their comfort zones. You have to step in them.
Work On Your Relationships
I’ve been rolling with a small, tight crew for several months. I just don’t seem to have time for my other friends. Why waste good nights out with sketchy wingmen? But they still are my friends, and I don’t like neglecting them. Right now is a great time to reconnect with your friends and other acquaintances. You never know when you might need them. Plus, you might discover that some of them are pretty good wingmen.
Go Out Alone, and Earlier
This is especially good during the week. Try one of those close-to-home venues. Keep in mind that you aren’t going to do many approaches. But because these nights are lower-key, you can do a simple approach and talk to one girl with more ease than you’ve been used too. But I’d get there earlier. Girls like to get a drink or two then head to sleep. Because they need to get their beauty rests, and get recharged for those extra-gruelling days at the cushy nonprofit. If you get to a bar by 10pm, you’re probably 2 hours too late. It’ll quickly turn into all dudes.
Lower Your Standards
Face it: all the girls we really want are bunned up right now. But that doesn’t mean you can’t meet anyone new. The girls out right now are a little bit thicker, and not as cute, but they aren’t warpigs. Many of them are quite friendly. If your goal is to pull the best looking girl at the bar, and the best looking is only a 7, you still gotta pull her. You may have to go down to 5′s, but hey, there’s no shame in lowering your game, at this time of the year.
But if you happen to be bunned up…
Practice the Snuggie Sutra
Do you need ways to spice of your sex life, but aren’t willing (or retarded enough) to be a bend-over boyfriend? Do you and your girl have matching Snuggies, a masculine one for you and a feminine one for her? Then this blog is for you. I included a couple of my favorites, like, The Papoose.
Or The Night In.
How fitting. There’s a whole book of this stuff, and with plenty of cold winter nights left, you literally have no reason to go out to a bar. Until you get tired of your main squeeze.
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